


Secrecy

by calmebyourname



Category: ARMY - Fandom, bts, minjoon - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Kim Namjoon/Park Jimin - Freeform, Love, M/M, Sex, Smut, bts - Freeform, minjoon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 07:50:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19001500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calmebyourname/pseuds/calmebyourname
Summary: When Namjoon can’t sleep thinking about his secret love for Park Jimin, the last thing he expects is to see the boy he spent a lifetime dreaming about to slip under his sheets whispers sweet words.





	Secrecy

**Author's Note:**

> My first AU where I mix smut and fluff. I hope you like it 💜

Namjoon was relaxed in his bed when the thoughts he had been running from ever since he could remember came to send its regards.  
Every night Namjoon received the inconvenient visit of the thoughts he knew he couldn’t have, but had anyways, thoughts about Park Jimin and every single inch of his body and soul that caused shivers in the deepest corners of Namjoon’s spirit.  
He caught himself slowly caving in to the memory of every single resemblance of physical contact he has ever had with Jimin, all organized chronologically in his mind, the lines that drew the moment he knew Jimin had an different effect on him were all blurred though.  
This evening, before Namjoon pathetically went to his room after mumbling to himself a solid “what the hell, I’m never gonna have him so I might as well just go to my room and think about the possibility of us”, they were giving and interview. Namjoon feels both, aroused and embarrassed with the memory of Jimin’s hands on his thighs and his deep stare questioning what was his favourite characteristic of Jimin.  
Namjoon shivered and felt his sweatpants stretching over the growing volume in it.  
Jimin was more, way more than hot and appealing. Namjoon just loved every inch of Jimin. He loved his voice, his smile, his eyes closing every time his lips curved, and his lips, his juicy pinky fluffy lips that whispered caring and sweet words whenever any of his loved ones were hurting or needing. He loved his soul and his mind and how creative and fluid and genuine he is. 

He can’t avoid it though, imagining Jimin’s hands on him, his lips on his neck, his peachy smell intoxicating him.

“Hey”

Namjoon gasps. He was so lost in his toughts that he didn’t even notice when the door was opened, when someone came in.  
Namjoon could only feel his body thighten with tension as Jimin slides into his sheets.

... 

Jimin couldn’t sleep. He has been rolling over his bed all night with one thought in his mind. One thought he has been arguing with himself for so long and that he has just confessed to himself he should not try to fight anymore.  
Jimin has had feelings for Namjoon for so long. He tried to hide in the farthest drawer in his brain, because it was just so wrong in so many levels, because Joon was his Hyung, because Joon was his leader, because Joon was his friend. But those were all the reasons Jimin liked him, and on top of those, there was the undeniable fact that Namjoon was hot, radiated an energy that had Jimin drunk on the idea of them.  
Of course, he was caring too, and that was exactly what aroused Jimin even more, his duality.  
Jimin tried hard but he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, and if he was quite honest, he didn’t try as hard as he could. He was very touchy towards his friends, why couldn’t he be touchy with Namjoon? His thighs basically begged for Jimin’s hands to rest on them, his neck pulsed begging for Jimin’s lips to suck the soft skin. 

He stood up. He wasn’t intending to do anything, all he wanted was to slide under Namjoon’s sheets and just feel his presence for a while. To sleep next to him, feeling his warmth and smell.

“Hey”, Namjoon whispered in response to his silent greeting. “Are you okay?”

Jimin nods silently and slides a little bit closer, which makes Namjoon tense up and Jimin feels a drop of sadness in his heart. Perhaps he misread Namjoon’s touchy hands. Perhaps he was just being casual and not a caring friend. Perhaps he didn’t want Jimin to be close. 

Namjoon finally turns his head, blinks his eyes at Jimin, who suddenly moves closer and finally realizes why Namjoon was so tense. Sadness gave space to curiosity, to excitement, and that feeling was all that was missing to make Jimin lose his reason. 

“Are you hard, Hyung?” Jimin asks mischievously, smiling a little, raising his eyebrow in defying.

Namjoon gasps in despair and tries to mumble words, which Jimin just ignores as he slides his index firmly around the volume on Namjoon’s pants, looking into his eyes and making his Hyung even harder, although nervous.

“Jimin...” Namjoon feels the boy’s finger tracing the shape of his dick over his sweat pants, and tries to hold his shit together, tries not to give in to the boy next to him “It’s not...”

“It’s okay Hyung”, Jimin turns over, leaving Namjoon to face his back “I just want to cuddle, like we used to before” 

Namjoon sighs swiftly and thinks about so many things, but he feels his body freeze when Jimin slides back, his back pressing Namjoon’s chest and tipping his head back a little to fit in between Namjoon’s shoulder and chin.  
Namjoon stays still, trying to figure out what is going on, when suddenly he feels Jimin pressing his ass against Namjoon’s dick, only two layers of pants separating them. Slowly, Jimin starts to move his hip a little, back and forth and up and down in a way so subtle that Joon wonders if he’s imagining it. Then Jimin lets out a breathed moan and rubs his ass stronger.  
Namjoon’s dick hardens at Jimin’s stimulus and he thinks about how much he wants him, the way his body has been aching for this. Namjoon could cum right now, only for the proximity of their bodies and Jimin’s weird sexy dance.

“Mm I love cuddles” Jimin moans.

Namjoon melts when he hears it, fluttering over the boy. “Me too”, Namjoon finally says, pulling Jimin closer firmly, his dick hard and pulsing against Jimin’s ass. Namjoon finds himself saying the words rather than thinking about them, “I love it Jiminie, I love your smell, I love your skin” he places a kiss on Jimin’s back neck.

Jimin hums with his eyes closed and Namjoon’s lips softly mumbles praises onto his neck and his long fingers starting to trace small circles around the skin on the base of Jimin’s tummy, making Jimin’s dick to grow even harder. 

“Do you like it? Do you like when I touch you?” Namjoon asks with his teeth scratching Jimin’s neck, and the younger go crazy in moans and hums and nods when Namjoon places small bites in his neck and ear “Okay then, because me too”

Namjoon’s hands slide into Jimin’s short, grabbing his cock firmly, rubbing the tip with his thumb, precum making it easier.

Jimin starts rubbing himself even harder onto Namjoon, who tries to hold it because he refuses to do it like this. Gathering all his self control, he pulls away just enough to reach the drawer next to the bed, and Jimin whines a moaned “Hyung”

“Don’t worry baby boy” Namjoon says, the pet name he always wanted to use slipping naturally through his lips as he turns back with a bottle of lube, making Jimin’s eyes darken with desire. 

Namjoon pulls himself on his knees, one leg in each side of Jimin’s body, and the younger curves his back up, almost begging for Namjoon to just take him already, but the lust in Namjoon’s eyes says differently. Namjoon undresses Jimin, admiring his perfect body, his perfect skin. He touches Jimin’s tattoo slightly and Jimin grabs both his thighs in an effort.

Namjoon immediately falls onto his elbows on top of Jimin, his lips brushing on Jimin’s far enough to make Jimin ache with thirst for a kiss that doesn’t happen, and he moans when Namjoon whispers “I love your hands in my thighs, it makes me crazy” Namjoon bites Jimin’s lower lip, pulls a little and using all his self control, he drops it and then continues “It makes me want to fuck you wherever we are” 

“Then do it” Jimin defies, sliding his hands up on Namjoon’s thighs “fuck me right now hyung” 

Namjoon feels his own body shivering with desire, then he place open mouth kisses on Jimin’s jaw and neck, sucking the skin, thinking about the marks he’s gonna get.

“Moan for me babyboy” he whispers in Jimin’s ears, biting his earlobe “I love it when you moan, it’s the prettiest sound”

Jimin’s cheeks flush red, but he doesn’t hold back a moan when Namjoon’s finger traces a path to his hole.  
Suddenly, Namjoon grabs Jimin’s leg and fold them against Jimin’s own body, contemplating his hole and back thighs, then he leans and bites and sucks the milky skin behind his legs, then his groin as he traces a path to his ass, grabbing his ass cheeks and opening them, licking his hole rapidly, just for teasing.  
When he pulls his tongue away, Jimin almost screams in frustration. 

“Calm down baby” Namjoon says it like an order and Jimin wants to obey, but is even more turned on by the command “I’m gonna fuck you pretty good” 

Jimin can barely say something, but if Namjoon keeps talking like this it’ll make him go crazy. It’ll make him cum untouched, just by his words.

Namjoon fills his hand with lube and then soaks Jimin’s hole with it. Jimin looks at him with passion and moans loudly when Namjoon’s long finger enters him. He can barely hold it together when Namjoon shoves another one. Jimin’s back arches up, his legs spread open and Namjoon starts to move his fingers inside, curving them in Jimin’s thight space and reaching his prostate uneffortlessly and Jimin starts moving his hips up and down, craving for more.  
Namjoon continues to move his fingers, adding a third one, pleasure taking him every time Jimin moans and melts under his touch, just like he imagined for so long.  
Jimin is a mess of sweat and pleasure and Namjoon just can’t stay one more second without filling him with his own dick.  
When he pulls out the fingers, Jimin’s nails sink into his thighs, moving his hip up as if begging for Namjoon to fuck him.  
Namjoon rubs the tip of his dick on the verge of Jimin’s hole, making the younger groan in frustration, and then Namjoon finally slides in, slowly, Jimin’s face shrugging in pain as Namjoon felt too big.

“Do you want me to stop baby?” Namjoon asks, leaning to clean his forehead and press a kiss there feeling soft and his heart fluttering with how much he cares for the boy in front of him.  
He wants Jimin, his body craves for Jimin, he desires and fantasizes about him, but Namjoon’s feelings also go so far beyond and deeper than that. He is infatuated with Jimin, not as a momentary thing, but as a characteristic. Namjoon is tall. Namjoon is smart. Namjoon is in love with Jimin. 

“No” Jimin is staring Namjoon in his eyes and they’ve been like that for a while “I want you hyung” 

Namjoon shivers at the words said by his loved one’s voice, and suddenly he shoves his cock into Jimin, their eyes not leaving each other, Jimin shrugging but relaxing instantly, his small hand on Namjoon’s face, the older turning his face to place a sweet kiss on his palm without leaving his eyes.

Namjoon starts moving slowly, and he gets even more aroused when Jimin closes his eyes, arches his neck back and moans. Namjoon starts to move faster and Jimin’s legs climb and wrap his waist, Namjoon’s face deeps into Jimin’s neck and he closes his eyes, smelling the boy’s pink hair, which is a mix of peach and sweat.  
Jimin moves his hip along with Namjoon, giving him the sign to go faster and faster and that’s what Namjoon does, he pulls out slowly and shoves in strongly, every time getting a louder moan from Jimin.  
They keep on moving together and it’s like a dance and they both are in sync with the same melody, fingers interlocked, Namjoon’s lips on Jimin’s jaw, Jimin’s hand on Namjoon’s back, his legs embracing him, his lips on Joon’s forehead, both of them cuming at the same time, Namjoon’s shirt filled with Jimin. Jimin’s body filled with Namjoon. 

Jimin whispers and closes his eyes, an avalanche of thoughts running through his mind, how it all went perfectly. How it was the perfect mix of desire, passion and caring, but the fear of everything just being a moment, something that Namjoon would want to hide. How their lips never met and how scared he was the man he admires the most would see it as a mistake, as something he’d like to hide. The fear of losing the right to touch him, putting his hands on his thigh, interlocking their fingers, resting on his side. The fear of losing him.

Namjoon got up, the cold air replacing his warmth made Jimin’s sight blur with the tears he wanted to hold. 

Namjoon takes off his shirt in the bathroom, Jimin’s marks still wet all over his body, marks he didn’t want to clean, didn’t want to go away. He was scared that Jimin would feel embarrassed, afraid that he would never feel that small precious body leaned against him, those hands on his thighs just because they could stay like that. Even now, seconds apart, all he wanted was to be there.  
He walks back to the room with a wet cloth on his hands and his heart melts as he sees the boy curled in his bed, eyes closed, legs still trembling a little, naked and filled with marks and bruises. Namjoon had dreamed about that moment and even though he knew Jimin, he’d seen the boy with sleepy face and lots of make up, with pajamas and Gucci all over, mhe’d never thought he could be even more beautiful like this.  
He sits on the bed right next to the boy who owns his heart and brushes his hair with his fingers, then delicately pulls his legs, cleaning him with the cloth, his legs, his hole, his abs, his shoulders, and every inch of Jimin Namjoon lays eyes on, the more in love he realizes he is. The fear that he wouldn’t feel the same just growing. The fear of the sentence “I want you Hyung” being just that, just want, when to Namjoon it was a need, scared him. 

Namjoon was cleaning Jimin’s neck when he saw, even with his eyes closed, a tear slipping down Jimin’s cheek, and it was just terrifying to think the he had caused that tear.

“Jimin?”, Namjoon asks uncertain and when another tear scapes, his own vision blurs. “B-baby?” 

Jimin open his eyes and sits. He covers his own face with his hands, sniffing and holding back some sounds. 

“Jimin, I’m so sorry” Namjoon starts shedding his own tears “I am so so sorry. Did I- did I hurt you? Am I still hurting you?”

Jimin nods and Namjoon’s heart breaks in a million pieces. How could he have been so irresponsible? He was their leader, he could have never put Jimin through this. He should’ve never allowed this to happen. 

“Jimin I’m so sorry I hurt you” he starts and his voice sounds a mess as he tries to hold his tears “I would never want to harm a single hair in your head. I... what can I do?” 

“I just wanted you to love me” Jimin cries, feeling like a kid begging for something he can’t have, just pathetic in front of the man that meant the world to him.

Namjoon can’t believe in the words that just came out of Jimin’s lips. Of all the things in the world, after everything that had just happened, he never thought Jimin could ever doubt that he loved him. Namjoon doesn’t even know how to react, the happiness of knowing Jimin wanted his love is overwhelming, because he thought it was so clear, he thought he knew, he thought Jimin didn’t want his heart.

“Jimin” Namjoon finally finds his voice in the middle of the mess of feelings he is. He sits closer to Jimin, whose hands still cover his face, and pulls his chin up with his fingers, pushing the young boy to look him in the eye. “Jimin, I love you” 

Jimin can’t believe the words he heard. He felt heartbroken just thinking Namjoon would never love him. He knew he caused this. He was the one who slipped under Namjoon’s sheets, he was the one who pushed himself onto Namjoon. He was feeling like he was the responsible for ruining their relationship. 

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” Jimin asks, and he is surprised when he sees the comprehension of it filling Namjoon’s face.

“I’m so sorry baby” Jimin shivered when he heard the pet name and when Namjoon’s long fingers cupped his face, his thumb caressing his lips, his eyes desperately searching for something in Jimin’s face “I- I was scared. I thought that if I kissed you I would never be able to look at you again without doing it. I thought you wouldn’t want me to. I thought you just wanted that, and even though I wanted that too, so so badly and for so long, I wanted more. I want more. I want you. I desperately want to kiss you. I desperately want to make love to you. I desperately want us to be together. I just... I didn’t want you to feel like you had to”

“I love you Namjoon” Jimin says, the words easily slipping through his lips like they were ready for so long to be pronounced. He cupped Namjoon’s face with both his hands and looked him in the eyes “I have loved you for so so long. I have wanted to be with you for so long. You didn’t make me feel like I had to do anything. You make me feel like I’m home. Like I’m right where I’m supposed to. With you.” 

Namjoon closes his eyes. A small smile dancing on his lips and that is the most beautiful expression Jimin has ever seen. It was like he was dreaming.  
Namjoon leans forward, his nose brushing on Jimin’s, whose eyes are closed now. They just freeze there for a second, breathing each other in, until Namjoon finally kisses Jimin. 

Jimin feels like stars are exploding inside his chest. Namjoon’s lips are soft, caring, sweet and strong, exactly like him. Namjoon pulls naked Jimin onto his lap and he closes his legs around Namjoon’s waist. Namjoon’s naked chest onto Jimin’s, their hearts beating together, Namjoon’s arm around Jimin, pulling him even closer, one hand on his face, both of them getting hard again, entangled in each other like they are one.  
When they pull away, Jimin rests his face on Namjoon’s neck, Namjoon’s lips on Jimin’s shoulder, placing open mouthed kisses, both their breath gasping.

Namjoon finally lays and pulls Jimin with him. Jimin’s leg over Namjoon’s waist, head on his shoulder, one of Namjoon’s arms under Jimin, hand on his butt, another one interlocking their fingers.

“I love us like that” he says, tightening his embrace and making Jimin move even closer. 

“I love us” Jimin says, pulling his head up, looking Namjoon in the eyes, the older leaning down to kiss him one more time.

“I love us” Namjoon replies, resting finally, knowing loving Jimin will never be a fantasy anymore. Loving Jimin is not a secret anymore, and they both close their eyes, knowing they love each other and that they’ll never have to be distant again.


End file.
